Ain't technology grand? While I'm writing this column, I am listening to my iPod and getting lost in the tunes. It does make it a bit hard to concentrate on the task at hand, however.

Maybe the Beatles' "White Album" is not the best background music for coming up with words of wisdom. Certainly didn't help Charles Manson make good life decisions.

But, oh, wait, Tom T. Hall just kicked in and darn if he isn't outlining the basic tenets of Life Sherpa philosophy: "It's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money."

God bless you, Tom. Now on with the show:

Dear Life Sherpa — I'm originally from Georgia and new to St. Louis. The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a long, cold winter for the Midwest. What can I expect and how do I prepare for it?

— Goober from GA



Dear Goober — If you want to handle snow like a true St. Louisan, here's what you do: The minute the forecast calls for the slightest chance of snow, rush to the grocery store and buy eight loaves of bread, six dozen eggs, four pounds of ground chuck and three gallons of milk. Then you'll be prepared for the onslaught (two or three inches) of snow that will keep you holed up in your house for the next three or four days (or hours).

Next, go home and spend three hours clearing the parking spaces in front of your house with a shovel, broom and hair dryer. Put lawn chairs on it to keep others from parking in your cleaned spaces. Finally, the next morning after the snowfall, scrape a dollar-bill sized view hole on your windshield and drive at 12 mph, regardless of conditions. Then, and only then, will you be handling snow like a true St. Louisan.

In other words, overreact in every way imaginable.

Dear Life Sherpa — A guy I work with smells awful. He smokes and he tries to hide it by spraying cologne, or something, all over him. It's so bad you can actually taste it. It gives me and others in the office a headache. Somebody said something to him once in private and he quit for a while, but now his habit is back with a vengeance. What is your advice in handling this problem?

— Befuddled Bob

Dear Befuddled — I get this question from time to time. You made the correct first move, getting someone to talk to him courteously. You have to be careful in a workplace with what you say to colleagues. But now I'm afraid someone has to be that bad guy (or gal) who complains to the boss.

Either that, or the next time the offending person enters the area with that foul smell, have everyone tell the boss they have taken sick and leave work.

If you have ever wondered — and we all have — why our bosses make more than us when it's obvious they know less, it's because they're the ones who have to deal definitively with Smelly Guy.

Dear Life Sherpa — I noticed that in your Aug. 30 column, you brought up men getting blamed for things they did in women's dreams. If we blame men for things they've done in our dreams, it's probably because the dreams felt incredibly real and the men acted very inappropriately, which can hurt our feelings.

— Annie from Arnold



Dear Arnold — Gosh, I just don't know where to start. They may feel incredibly real, but THEY'RE NOT. Second, the men did not act inappropriately, just like I've never really served breakfast in bed to Salma Hayek and her not-as-famous twin sister.

And you know why? Because it was A DREAM!